Feeling Deadline Anxieties
Feeling Deadline Anxieties
June first is in 2 days. And that has been a source of mental and emotional stress for me.
Please pray for me to break the ice and offer something meaningful on Friday.
I made a commitment to myself and others to start an online ministry on June first. But I do not feel ready to do that.
There is a temptation to put off the date. I recall that procrastination and perfectionism have led me to not move forward many times in the past when I got to this stage.
Several times before I let overwhelm motivate me to abandon complex projects.
So I need your best prayers to gain the needed focus for the coming days and weeks. Then, Lord willing, I will have momentum.
The ongoing challenge of my life has been to keep it simple.
My strengths include researching, planning, and organizing in the context of the long-term and big picture of online ministry. I like to think about the wide and deep issues of a subject.
My weaknesses include sorting out the suitable priorities and using the discipline to create the simple communication units to serve the short-term goals. I dislike paying close attention to the tasks that would make a difference soon.
Thankfully, my brother Jim sent me a book that has been very helpful to understand how to get things moving. I have read it, marked it up, and put the key ideas on a mind map. Part of me knows that it would be best to just put on the blinders and follow those proven directions. Yet over and over I keep using my time on other matters. Pray for me to understand and apply what the book says.
One of the next steps according to the book is to offer a survey. Learn what people want and need about my chosen subject. Get to know their questions and problems. Then use their input to organize the materials. When the words and phrases of those answers are used then the same content is more appreciated and gladly shared.
Also, God has been reminding me of an online course I took about how to make short personal videos. These brief messages are proven to connect with supporters.
The bottom line is that I feel very reluctant to do what God has set before me. The short videos are called vlogs. I have made them in the past. And just making them is therapeutic like writing in my journal. But I did not share them. I believe as I make and shore these vlog entries then they will enroll targeted prayers so that I do not get stuck.
BACKGROUND
Back in March, I set a goal to launch an online ministry on June first.
At that time it seemed like there would be plenty of time to get ready. BUT then there were disputations, complications, and a total change of focus.
I have been adjusting to illness, grief, and wrestling with God.
Thankfully I am well, grief has mostly past, and God won again.
During the past 4 decades, I have wrestled with God several times. It has gotten to where I know He will win from the start but something in me still puts up a fight.
Three months ago I was going to start the online ministry about the four Gospels. I had planned to wait 2 years before dealing with prayer. I figured that by then I would have addressed lots of other complex subjects. So the massively complicated and fuzzy world of prayer could be addressed.
Here is the summary of the long-term vision that would last for many years
http://letuspraybetter.blogspot.com/2018/05/overview-of-moocs.html
I remain totally convinced that offering those MOOCs or Massive Ongoing Online Courses is the will of God for my life LONG TERM.
Those materials present an orderly way to guide a layperson to gain a solid foundation of the faith that includes the understanding and application of the head, heart, and hands. or in other words the integrated and holistic uses of biblical doctrine and theology as well as right attitudes and practical service.
PRAYER
By the grace of God, I have requested prayers thousands of times since the 1970s and I have witnessed amazing answers to prayers.
BUT I have been very disappointed with my own prayer life. I have prayed to pray better. I have requested prayers to pray better. I have read books and been to prayer websites.
I have learned the importance of giving thanks to God often both day and night. This includes little and big things that come to mind.
I have embraced that I am to be anxious for nothing. So when I feel anxious I pray and give thanks until the peace of God returns to me.
I have come to use my understanding of biblical doctrines and theology to fuel my faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.
I have felt very depressed and discouraged by the news. It has become obvious that only God can redeem our shared messes and that means much prayer.
I am deeply concerned for the children, teens, and college students that are impacted by this secular mass media. They both need prayer covering and learn how to pray effectively.
Studies show that church attendance is decreasing in much of the USA yet increasing in parts of the world. So how can we best pray?
We know that prayer is foundational to a spiritual life. Yet there is very little teaching and training on the subject. I KNOW deep in my soul that I can pull together and share online the principles and guidelines that will help others to pray better.
I am FAR from an expert on the subject. That is why I have avoided it. But I enjoy researching, planning, and organizing. I feel led to invite parents, pastors, and missionaries to share their best insights. Those can be put into an orderly way to benefit others.
Also what would serve best would be an online membership community. Then the members will pray for each other and from that they will witness answered prayers.
What I have learned over these 40 plus years is that God is ALWAYS answering prayers all around ut. YET in our excessively busy lives, there is rarely the opportunity to testify about the grace and goodness of God. So the online membership site can offer a safe place to testify. Such testimonies of answered prayers glorifies God as well as builds up others in their faith.
My least favorite part of the Bible is just after Paul prays for his thorn in the flesh to be removed.
9But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
SO here I am boasting about my weaknesses and I trust that the pwoer of God will rest on me as you pray.
CONCLUSION
If I was starting an online business to sell sports memorabilia, antique toys, or abstract art then I would FEEL unqualified. Plus I would have ZERO interest.
BUT while I do not FEEL qualified to TEACH how to EXCEL as a prayer warrior. But I do KNOW that there are biblical perspectives that I can bring to the table. And I have a wide range of contacts who will make the offerings rich for those who God sends. Plus I DEEPLY care that ALL Christians pray better.
Let me state what might not be obvious. Besides my internal issues about bringing this subject of prayer online, I suspect that it will stir up opposition from the forces of spiritual darkness. I am not naturally a fighter but there will be battles ahead. That is why I request your very best prayers both now and later.
Shalom
John
June first is in 2 days. And that has been a source of mental and emotional stress for me.
Please pray for me to break the ice and offer something meaningful on Friday.
I made a commitment to myself and others to start an online ministry on June first. But I do not feel ready to do that.
There is a temptation to put off the date. I recall that procrastination and perfectionism have led me to not move forward many times in the past when I got to this stage.
Several times before I let overwhelm motivate me to abandon complex projects.
So I need your best prayers to gain the needed focus for the coming days and weeks. Then, Lord willing, I will have momentum.
The ongoing challenge of my life has been to keep it simple.
My strengths include researching, planning, and organizing in the context of the long-term and big picture of online ministry. I like to think about the wide and deep issues of a subject.
My weaknesses include sorting out the suitable priorities and using the discipline to create the simple communication units to serve the short-term goals. I dislike paying close attention to the tasks that would make a difference soon.
Thankfully, my brother Jim sent me a book that has been very helpful to understand how to get things moving. I have read it, marked it up, and put the key ideas on a mind map. Part of me knows that it would be best to just put on the blinders and follow those proven directions. Yet over and over I keep using my time on other matters. Pray for me to understand and apply what the book says.
One of the next steps according to the book is to offer a survey. Learn what people want and need about my chosen subject. Get to know their questions and problems. Then use their input to organize the materials. When the words and phrases of those answers are used then the same content is more appreciated and gladly shared.
Also, God has been reminding me of an online course I took about how to make short personal videos. These brief messages are proven to connect with supporters.
The bottom line is that I feel very reluctant to do what God has set before me. The short videos are called vlogs. I have made them in the past. And just making them is therapeutic like writing in my journal. But I did not share them. I believe as I make and shore these vlog entries then they will enroll targeted prayers so that I do not get stuck.
BACKGROUND
Back in March, I set a goal to launch an online ministry on June first.
At that time it seemed like there would be plenty of time to get ready. BUT then there were disputations, complications, and a total change of focus.
I have been adjusting to illness, grief, and wrestling with God.
Thankfully I am well, grief has mostly past, and God won again.
During the past 4 decades, I have wrestled with God several times. It has gotten to where I know He will win from the start but something in me still puts up a fight.
Three months ago I was going to start the online ministry about the four Gospels. I had planned to wait 2 years before dealing with prayer. I figured that by then I would have addressed lots of other complex subjects. So the massively complicated and fuzzy world of prayer could be addressed.
Here is the summary of the long-term vision that would last for many years
http://letuspraybetter.blogspot.com/2018/05/overview-of-moocs.html
I remain totally convinced that offering those MOOCs or Massive Ongoing Online Courses is the will of God for my life LONG TERM.
Those materials present an orderly way to guide a layperson to gain a solid foundation of the faith that includes the understanding and application of the head, heart, and hands. or in other words the integrated and holistic uses of biblical doctrine and theology as well as right attitudes and practical service.
PRAYER
By the grace of God, I have requested prayers thousands of times since the 1970s and I have witnessed amazing answers to prayers.
BUT I have been very disappointed with my own prayer life. I have prayed to pray better. I have requested prayers to pray better. I have read books and been to prayer websites.
I have learned the importance of giving thanks to God often both day and night. This includes little and big things that come to mind.
I have embraced that I am to be anxious for nothing. So when I feel anxious I pray and give thanks until the peace of God returns to me.
I have come to use my understanding of biblical doctrines and theology to fuel my faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.
I have felt very depressed and discouraged by the news. It has become obvious that only God can redeem our shared messes and that means much prayer.
I am deeply concerned for the children, teens, and college students that are impacted by this secular mass media. They both need prayer covering and learn how to pray effectively.
Studies show that church attendance is decreasing in much of the USA yet increasing in parts of the world. So how can we best pray?
We know that prayer is foundational to a spiritual life. Yet there is very little teaching and training on the subject. I KNOW deep in my soul that I can pull together and share online the principles and guidelines that will help others to pray better.
I am FAR from an expert on the subject. That is why I have avoided it. But I enjoy researching, planning, and organizing. I feel led to invite parents, pastors, and missionaries to share their best insights. Those can be put into an orderly way to benefit others.
Also what would serve best would be an online membership community. Then the members will pray for each other and from that they will witness answered prayers.
What I have learned over these 40 plus years is that God is ALWAYS answering prayers all around ut. YET in our excessively busy lives, there is rarely the opportunity to testify about the grace and goodness of God. So the online membership site can offer a safe place to testify. Such testimonies of answered prayers glorifies God as well as builds up others in their faith.
My least favorite part of the Bible is just after Paul prays for his thorn in the flesh to be removed.
9But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
SO here I am boasting about my weaknesses and I trust that the pwoer of God will rest on me as you pray.
CONCLUSION
If I was starting an online business to sell sports memorabilia, antique toys, or abstract art then I would FEEL unqualified. Plus I would have ZERO interest.
BUT while I do not FEEL qualified to TEACH how to EXCEL as a prayer warrior. But I do KNOW that there are biblical perspectives that I can bring to the table. And I have a wide range of contacts who will make the offerings rich for those who God sends. Plus I DEEPLY care that ALL Christians pray better.
Let me state what might not be obvious. Besides my internal issues about bringing this subject of prayer online, I suspect that it will stir up opposition from the forces of spiritual darkness. I am not naturally a fighter but there will be battles ahead. That is why I request your very best prayers both now and later.
Shalom
John
John,
ReplyDeleteI read what you wrote below. I hope that you are doing well, despite your uncertainties about beginning this ministry. As the (Chinese ?) saying goes, "A long journey begins with a single step." Sometimes, you just have to start, even if the result isn't perfect, or as perfect as you would like for it to be. If you feel reasonably certain that things are ready, then why not go for it, and see what God may do with it? When Jesus fed the 5,000, there was a little boy with 5 loaves and 2 fish--hardly enough to feed more than 2 or 3 people, I'm sure. But, in the hands of Jesus (and with His blessing), it fed the multitude. Give what you have, and see what God might do with it.
In 2 Corinthians 2:16, Paul asked the question, "And who is adequate for these things?" (2 Cor. 2:16) Yet, in the next chapter, he writes,
"And such confidence we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God, who also made us adequate as servants of a new covenant,..." (2 Corinthians 3:4-6a),'
Our adequacy is only from Christ, Who said, "'...Apart from Me you can do nothing." (John 15:5:c) Yet, the apostle Paul later declared, "I can do all things through Him Who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:13). So, yes, in and of ourselves, we are, indeed, inadequate for what God calls us to do; but our adequacy is from Christ; and through Him, we can do all things that He calls us to do.
In Christ,
your friend and brother,
Greg